A friend wrote me a message today on facebook which made me think about my attitude lately and it was not good. For the past 6 months to a year my attitude toward life has been going down hill. I have grown more and more cynical and pessimistic every week. This fact scares me.
Here is the thing, I love life, I really do. However, I have been putting on masks ever since the start of 2009. I do this so people don't think anything is wrong because nobody wants to hear me complain about myself blah blah blah. But the sad thing is, somewhere in the middle of then and now I have called my own bullshit and just threw the masks aside. The bad thing though is I didn't help my out look on life, I just lived with my attitude. On top of this I didn't realize how I was acting toward the people I care most about. I know now I was hurting some and just becoming rude and just plain not nice to most. This makes me sick. These people have stood by me for a long time and have helped me get through hard times but now when they need me I am nowhere to be found. Yes I am ultra busy with my student teaching internship, but they are my friends and I have been a dick and there is no excuss.
I am a dick and I am sorry
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